Chapter 1
I had a really fair childhood with the dramatic incidents here and there. We got what we wanted most of the time. My parents always did what was best for us. All we had to do was just be good children and make them proud. We all made mistakes but mine didn’t feel like it. Growing up in Bloemfontein can seem like something exciting but for me it was not. I just felt so out of place. Every holidays we had to go visit our grandparents in the small town of Petsana(Reitz). This was where I found myself or so I think. You know when you reach high school and start thinking of boys as more than friends. I was at that stage in life. I used to go there mainly to get spoiled by our grandparents but life had other plans for us.
Everything was happening so fast though. The more I think about it, the more I find it funny. Bloemfontein might have been seen as a privilege but my heart was at Petsana. High school years are the funniest. You think you have your life sorted out but nothing. I started dating only when I was in Standard 7(Grade 9). It took so much convincing. His name was Tshepiso. The boy was doing the right things. He lived two streets away from my grandma’s house. I always had to find excuses to go out so I can spend time with him.
Everything was going well until my baby sister saw me with him at the corner of our grandma’s street. Instead of telling our sweet grandma or keep it to herself, she decided to tell our uncle and it was a disaster. I remember this other other time my grandma asked me to go buy things at the spaza and my uncle decided to go with me. The trip was not pleasant at all. I was supposed to meet Tshepiso at the spaza. What happened when we got there was funny to say the least. My uncle decided to walk behind me so to not make the guys at the spaza aware we are walking together. The worst thing Tshepiso did was walk towards me from the shop. I could not tell him to walk away in time. Before he could say even ‘Hello’ to me my uncle got infront of me so quickly and gave him a warm klap and after that told him to stay away from me. The poor boy was in awe and quickly ran away. That was so embarrassing for me. I felt so sorry for him and wanted to check if he was ok. My uncle made sure that I stayed in the house for the next few days with the never ending chores. His luck ran out when my grandma said I should go play with other kids and he got a job. I could go back to my boyfriend and spend more time with him. We planned so much. I remember how we planned to go study and RAU(University of Johannesburg) and build a life there. It was always so emotional when we have to go back when because the holidays were over.
On our way back to Bloemfontein Diteboho seemed really excited but as for me I was not looking forward to it. I had my best friend Dikgang to tell her what had happened and that was it. Atleast my uncle is not taking us back otherwise my parents were not going to be pleased. To them I’m the definition of the perfect child but life had other plans for me. As soon as the schools reopend I met up with Dikgang and told her everything. We were more than happy to see each other. She told me about how she broke up with her unhappy boyfriend. The poor guy was not working for my friend. A person can try up to a certain point and that is it.
We were young and didn’t think life can go sideways. At school people had their boyfriends and girlfriend but mine was far away. The school days seemed too long this time. It was approaching festive season. My parents more than happy to let us visit our grandparents all the time cause it was saver and they had to work most of the time. When the schools closed again and we went to Petsana I decided to get Tshepiso a shirt and show the love I have for him. I was ready to give him my flower. After all, he had been patient with me and loved me.
When we got there I decided to go to his house and check if he was around. I found him there but he did seem pleased to see me. I thought maybe he had a bad but chose to ignore it. After some time he seemed more relaxed and decided to walk me till the corner of our street. I tried to seem happy but his attitude was still not making it for me. As soon as I go to the house, I decided to talk to Diteboho, maybe she heard something but there was no luck. I felt he was very distant and decided to give him space.
Days went and there was no sign of him. What was my future husband up to? Was he done with me? I was ready to give him my flower but he was nowhere to be found. My grandma decided to send us to buy things at town since my uncles and grandpa were working. When we got to town we decided to go to the park and relax a little. We bought a cold drink and sat under a tree. While we were busy sitting there we saw my darling future husband with another girl very cosy. I was so confused and decided to walk back home before he sees me. I want to hear what his excuse will be. Diteboho kept quiet all the way. At least she could sense I was not in the best of my mood.
That afternoon I decided to stay indoors and sleep. My grandma even thought I was sick but I was not. I did not want to get tempted to go and ask Tshepiso what was going on. The next few days were difficult. I could not cope much. He was around but he did not come to see. Was he really happy about the space I gave him or what was going on. I decided to go to the shops and get some fresh air. When I was walking back I saw him again with the girl. I could not hold it together. I decided to go and confront him. He looked like a scared puppy as soon as he saw me. “Tshepiso who is this girl. Why are you busy getting cosy with her when I’m around?”. “Who are you to ask who am I. I am the girlfriend last time I checked. ”. I just felt my spirit go down. This girl was not only the gf but she was also pregnant. My darling Tshepiso could not wait any longer for me. I felt so embarrassed and out of place. I quickly left before the tears can fall of my cheeks. I was too naïve to think we would last. Afterall I was at Bloemfontein most of the time and he was at Petsana.
I did not enjoy the rest of my holiday at all. The days felt longer and I just felt more drained. It suddenly was the time for us to go back. My sister could see that I was not better at all and decided to give me some space which helped a lot. I could think clearly. I decided at that time to stay away from boys as they bought nothing but heartache. I did everything right but another girl still won
Everything was happening so fast though. The more I think about it, the more I find it funny. Bloemfontein might have been seen as a privilege but my heart was at Petsana. High school years are the funniest. You think you have your life sorted out but nothing. I started dating only when I was in Standard 7(Grade 9). It took so much convincing. His name was Tshepiso. The boy was doing the right things. He lived two streets away from my grandma’s house. I always had to find excuses to go out so I can spend time with him.
Everything was going well until my baby sister saw me with him at the corner of our grandma’s street. Instead of telling our sweet grandma or keep it to herself, she decided to tell our uncle and it was a disaster. I remember this other other time my grandma asked me to go buy things at the spaza and my uncle decided to go with me. The trip was not pleasant at all. I was supposed to meet Tshepiso at the spaza. What happened when we got there was funny to say the least. My uncle decided to walk behind me so to not make the guys at the spaza aware we are walking together. The worst thing Tshepiso did was walk towards me from the shop. I could not tell him to walk away in time. Before he could say even ‘Hello’ to me my uncle got infront of me so quickly and gave him a warm klap and after that told him to stay away from me. The poor boy was in awe and quickly ran away. That was so embarrassing for me. I felt so sorry for him and wanted to check if he was ok. My uncle made sure that I stayed in the house for the next few days with the never ending chores. His luck ran out when my grandma said I should go play with other kids and he got a job. I could go back to my boyfriend and spend more time with him. We planned so much. I remember how we planned to go study and RAU(University of Johannesburg) and build a life there. It was always so emotional when we have to go back when because the holidays were over.
On our way back to Bloemfontein Diteboho seemed really excited but as for me I was not looking forward to it. I had my best friend Dikgang to tell her what had happened and that was it. Atleast my uncle is not taking us back otherwise my parents were not going to be pleased. To them I’m the definition of the perfect child but life had other plans for me. As soon as the schools reopend I met up with Dikgang and told her everything. We were more than happy to see each other. She told me about how she broke up with her unhappy boyfriend. The poor guy was not working for my friend. A person can try up to a certain point and that is it.
We were young and didn’t think life can go sideways. At school people had their boyfriends and girlfriend but mine was far away. The school days seemed too long this time. It was approaching festive season. My parents more than happy to let us visit our grandparents all the time cause it was saver and they had to work most of the time. When the schools closed again and we went to Petsana I decided to get Tshepiso a shirt and show the love I have for him. I was ready to give him my flower. After all, he had been patient with me and loved me.
When we got there I decided to go to his house and check if he was around. I found him there but he did seem pleased to see me. I thought maybe he had a bad but chose to ignore it. After some time he seemed more relaxed and decided to walk me till the corner of our street. I tried to seem happy but his attitude was still not making it for me. As soon as I go to the house, I decided to talk to Diteboho, maybe she heard something but there was no luck. I felt he was very distant and decided to give him space.
Days went and there was no sign of him. What was my future husband up to? Was he done with me? I was ready to give him my flower but he was nowhere to be found. My grandma decided to send us to buy things at town since my uncles and grandpa were working. When we got to town we decided to go to the park and relax a little. We bought a cold drink and sat under a tree. While we were busy sitting there we saw my darling future husband with another girl very cosy. I was so confused and decided to walk back home before he sees me. I want to hear what his excuse will be. Diteboho kept quiet all the way. At least she could sense I was not in the best of my mood.
That afternoon I decided to stay indoors and sleep. My grandma even thought I was sick but I was not. I did not want to get tempted to go and ask Tshepiso what was going on. The next few days were difficult. I could not cope much. He was around but he did not come to see. Was he really happy about the space I gave him or what was going on. I decided to go to the shops and get some fresh air. When I was walking back I saw him again with the girl. I could not hold it together. I decided to go and confront him. He looked like a scared puppy as soon as he saw me. “Tshepiso who is this girl. Why are you busy getting cosy with her when I’m around?”. “Who are you to ask who am I. I am the girlfriend last time I checked. ”. I just felt my spirit go down. This girl was not only the gf but she was also pregnant. My darling Tshepiso could not wait any longer for me. I felt so embarrassed and out of place. I quickly left before the tears can fall of my cheeks. I was too naïve to think we would last. Afterall I was at Bloemfontein most of the time and he was at Petsana.
I did not enjoy the rest of my holiday at all. The days felt longer and I just felt more drained. It suddenly was the time for us to go back. My sister could see that I was not better at all and decided to give me some space which helped a lot. I could think clearly. I decided at that time to stay away from boys as they bought nothing but heartache. I did everything right but another girl still won
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